GUEST BLOGGER: @brigibaby
Oh Kimmy. I was rooting for you, I really was. I’m not gonna lie and say that while watching the 4-hour fairy tale wedding event (yes, I did watch all four hours; can I get some kind of medal?) on E! I wasn’t making snide comments about Kim and Kris (we all knew she wasn’t going to take his last name, you can spare us the faux-drama next time). I’m not gonna say I saw this marriage lasting. But I will say that, secretly, I wanted it to. Even though I’ve had it up to here with this family and their compulsive need to change every “C” in the alphabet to “K,” everyone deserves to find true love!
The reason for the big D? Who knows. Maybe it was the fact that they barely knew each other. Maybe it had to do with Kim’s biological clock, and her freaking out that she was nearing 30 and unmarried, while her younger sister was happily doing the husband and wife thing. Maybe it really was the ol’ “irreconcilable differences” that all celebrity marriages seem to end with. Whatever the reason, no one was really surprised to hear that Kim was filing for a divorce a mere 72 days after their over-priced and publicized wedding extravaganza. Because that’s really what it was; an event. It wasn’t about the joining of two people in the sacred sacrament of marriage; it was about making the Kardashian empire even more money.
Maybe that’s why people are so disgusted with the whole thing. This wasn’t Kim’s first marriage. Her first marriage, when she was only 19, actually lasted for 4 whole years before she split with music producer Damon Thomas. Older and none the wiser, she married Kris Humphries seven years later, after a whirlwind courtship of barely 10 months. People want to talk about how gay marriage desecrates the whole sanctity of the union? Believe what you want, but anyone who treats marriage like a publicity stunt is defiling marriage worse than two people who are truly in love who happen to be the same gender.
No one is more upset about this than E! The network that shoved this family into our lives (and probably orchestrated the whole rush-delivery wedding) is reaping what they sowed. I can just imagine little Ryan Seacrest crying himself to sleep last night. They probably thought, hey, it worked with one Kardashian sister (Khloe and Lamar, anyone?), let’s see if we can go 2-0 (I will be the first to say that as much as I had my doubts about Khloe and Lamar’s quicky marriage, I think they’re actually very cute together). The editing team for the new season of Kourtney and Kim Take New York is probably in a frenzy, having been given direct orders to edit out every time Kim says something about how married life suits her, and how happy they are, and how her family is really warming to Kris!
Kim and Kris’ whole defense about their getting married so soon (yes, they had to defend their relationship to their family, who probably saw this divorce coming a mile away) was the whole “When it’s right, it’s right. When you know, you just know, blah blah blah.” Every girl wants to believe that. True, there are couples who jumped the gun, married soon after they met, and are still happily together years later, but honey, that is the exception (haven’t you seen He’s Just Not That Into You? You’re always, always, always the rule, never the exception). That rarely happens, because everyone is sublimely happy the first few months of a new relationship - constant sex will do that to you. It’s when the butterflies fly away and the giddy newness wears off that the real relationship begins. Unfortunately for Kim, Kris just wasn’t “the one.” I still have hope for her, though. Everyone deserves to find happiness - and if you’re really lucky, you find the one so when even after all the shiny newness is worn away, you still feel butterflies.
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