by: Tim Wakefield (w/ Tony Massarotti)
If I only make one point in this blog post it’s that I don’t like being lied to. The author is listed as Tim Wakefield. The subtitle is “My Life with Baseball’s Most Confounding Pitch.” So imagine my surprise to find that this book is written entirely in the third person. Hell, Wakefield is quoted in his own book. The author wouldn’t need to quote himself because he is the one saying it! What a crock.
As a biography, this book is fine. It focuses on the amazing career of Wakefield while also delving into previous Red Sox seasons. I liked that Massarotti didn’t ignore what else was going on at the time around Wakefield. That is as important to his story as anything.
Nothing made me laugh harder than this line right here. I forgot how exciting it seemed at the time but just how terrible it all was in hindsight. Good thing Theo Epstein drafted well:
"Fortified during an off-season in which club ownership and management committed in excess of $200 million to long-term contracts for outfielder J.D. Drew, shortstop Julio Lugo, and Japanese pitching import Daisuke Matsuzaka."
Monday, January 30, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Movie Review: The Help
This movie was quite different from the book. Understandably, there can’t be as many plot lines because there simply isn’t time to explain everything. That being said, the 2 moms (Skeeter’s and Hilly’s) seemed like entirely new characters… in a good way. Allison Janney plays Skeeter’s mom and she’s awesome in everything. They make her more likeable than the book. And Hilly’s mom is hilariously senile and plays a bigger part than in the book.*
This is definitely a film you should see. All the actors are at the top of their games and it feels real. My girlfriend couldn’t believe that this was set at the same time as Mad Men because of just how different life in Mississippi was. You might feel rushed if you’ve read the book recently because they have a lot to cover but it makes the 2 1/2 hours fly by.
*Is it racist if I only mention 2 white women in a movie about black maids? How about this -- I thought Constantine was really weird.
4 out of 5
This is definitely a film you should see. All the actors are at the top of their games and it feels real. My girlfriend couldn’t believe that this was set at the same time as Mad Men because of just how different life in Mississippi was. You might feel rushed if you’ve read the book recently because they have a lot to cover but it makes the 2 1/2 hours fly by.
*Is it racist if I only mention 2 white women in a movie about black maids? How about this -- I thought Constantine was really weird.
4 out of 5
Monday, January 23, 2012
Book Review: The Help
by: Kathryn Stockett
As many of you know by now, this book was rejected by 60 literary agents before Stockett found someone willing to represent her. It’s amazing to hear that considering just how great this book is. I’d love to see some of those earlier drafts. Revision is an author’s best friend.
The Help is a fictional story of black maids working for white families in 1960s Mississippi. It is told from 3 different perspectives: 2 black maids and a young white woman. For those of you who have seen the movie (or just the previews) they were played by Viola Davis, Octavia Spencer and Emma Stone.
As someone who was born well after the civil rights movement and north of the Mason/Dixon line I found this book extremely interesting. It was exceptionally insightful into what both races were feeling during that time of immense pressure and change. It even managed to be sufficiently frightening when violence – or the fear of it – erupted.
You may notice I keep saying “It” and not giving Stockett any sort of recognition. I thought the book was great but in my version there was a little personal essay tacked on at the end. She just came across as so conceited that I don’t want to give her any credit. Of course, she can feel free to continue writing from other people’s perspectives but stay away from the other b.s.
As many of you know by now, this book was rejected by 60 literary agents before Stockett found someone willing to represent her. It’s amazing to hear that considering just how great this book is. I’d love to see some of those earlier drafts. Revision is an author’s best friend.
The Help is a fictional story of black maids working for white families in 1960s Mississippi. It is told from 3 different perspectives: 2 black maids and a young white woman. For those of you who have seen the movie (or just the previews) they were played by Viola Davis, Octavia Spencer and Emma Stone.
As someone who was born well after the civil rights movement and north of the Mason/Dixon line I found this book extremely interesting. It was exceptionally insightful into what both races were feeling during that time of immense pressure and change. It even managed to be sufficiently frightening when violence – or the fear of it – erupted.
You may notice I keep saying “It” and not giving Stockett any sort of recognition. I thought the book was great but in my version there was a little personal essay tacked on at the end. She just came across as so conceited that I don’t want to give her any credit. Of course, she can feel free to continue writing from other people’s perspectives but stay away from the other b.s.
Friday, January 20, 2012
For the love of Pete Pedro Pierre ...
If you haven’t heard, Cleveland Indians pitcher Fausto Carmona is being held in his home country of the Dominican Republic for falsifying information. What information? His name (Roberto Hernandez Heredia) and his age (31, not 28 as he has stated). What is even crazier is that Carmona Heredia isn’t even the first MLB pitcher to get caught this offseason.
The man formerly known as Leo Nunez pitched for the Marlins this past season before getting held up in the DR and charged with falsifying information. His real name? Juan Carlos Oviedo. Age? 29, not 28 as he has claimed.
Two players with Hall of Fame credentials, Vladimir Guerrero and Miguel Tejada, were both busted within the past 5 years of lying about their age. Tejada claimed to be 2 years younger than he was and Guerrero said he was 1 year younger than actuality. It’s crazy to consider just how many other players may be disguising themselves as well.
I understand that there simply aren’t the same opportunities in the DR and Cuba for talented athletes. But to lie to this extent? Thinking no one will ever find out? That’s just ignorance. If you can play, you can play. And believe me, teams will pay.
The man formerly known as Leo Nunez pitched for the Marlins this past season before getting held up in the DR and charged with falsifying information. His real name? Juan Carlos Oviedo. Age? 29, not 28 as he has claimed.
Two players with Hall of Fame credentials, Vladimir Guerrero and Miguel Tejada, were both busted within the past 5 years of lying about their age. Tejada claimed to be 2 years younger than he was and Guerrero said he was 1 year younger than actuality. It’s crazy to consider just how many other players may be disguising themselves as well.
I understand that there simply aren’t the same opportunities in the DR and Cuba for talented athletes. But to lie to this extent? Thinking no one will ever find out? That’s just ignorance. If you can play, you can play. And believe me, teams will pay.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Book Review: Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist
by: Rachel Cohn & David Levithan
I saw the Michael Cera/Kat Dennings Nick & Norah in theaters a couple years ago and I thought I should finally get around to reading the source material. Turns out there were quite a few liberties taken in the movie.
Remember how the whole film was a race to find the band Where's Fluffy?'s secret show? Well, in the book they just happen to randomly go to a club and it turns out the band is playing there that night. No race, no search, no anything.
And remember how half the movie was trying to find Norah's friend Caroline who Nick's friends were supposed to take home but they lost her? Well, in the book they just take her home and there is no mention of her again.
Also, the girl Tris who is supposed to be the antagonist in the movie is much more 50/50 in the book and she's written as someone who was looking out for Nick's best interests when she broke up with him. (Yeah, I know how that sounds but it's actually true.)
The book is written by 2 writers (Cohn & Levithan) each voicing one of the characters. The story moves back and forth with each chapter switching viewpoints from Nick's to Norah's. It's a pretty light read and is most definitely written with the "Young Adult" in mind.
I saw the Michael Cera/Kat Dennings Nick & Norah in theaters a couple years ago and I thought I should finally get around to reading the source material. Turns out there were quite a few liberties taken in the movie.
Remember how the whole film was a race to find the band Where's Fluffy?'s secret show? Well, in the book they just happen to randomly go to a club and it turns out the band is playing there that night. No race, no search, no anything.
And remember how half the movie was trying to find Norah's friend Caroline who Nick's friends were supposed to take home but they lost her? Well, in the book they just take her home and there is no mention of her again.
Also, the girl Tris who is supposed to be the antagonist in the movie is much more 50/50 in the book and she's written as someone who was looking out for Nick's best interests when she broke up with him. (Yeah, I know how that sounds but it's actually true.)
The book is written by 2 writers (Cohn & Levithan) each voicing one of the characters. The story moves back and forth with each chapter switching viewpoints from Nick's to Norah's. It's a pretty light read and is most definitely written with the "Young Adult" in mind.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Movie Review: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
I thought this was a very good film. It was true to the book and held up on the big screen. The story moved quickly even though it was a little over 2 1/2 hours. Rooney Mara was hands down amazing as Lisbeth and I actually liked Daniel Craig as Blomkvist even though I wasn’t sure I would.
The fact that it didn’t do well monetarily doesn’t surprise me. R-rated movies usually make less than their unrestricted counterparts. But I think more accurately is that this is a very sick story. It’s one thing to simply read the line “He tied her to the bed and raped her” but it is a completely jarring experience to actually see the act played out in front of your eyes. To hear her screaming for help, for mercy, for anything. It was quite brutal. I can’t even imagine how the actors did it.
4 out of 5
The fact that it didn’t do well monetarily doesn’t surprise me. R-rated movies usually make less than their unrestricted counterparts. But I think more accurately is that this is a very sick story. It’s one thing to simply read the line “He tied her to the bed and raped her” but it is a completely jarring experience to actually see the act played out in front of your eyes. To hear her screaming for help, for mercy, for anything. It was quite brutal. I can’t even imagine how the actors did it.
4 out of 5
Friday, January 13, 2012
Book Review: The Perks of Being a Wallflower
by: Stephen Chbosky
I’ve wanted to read this book for many years. I’d heard great things and that there were some similarities to The Catcher in the Rye. It’s definitely not a Catcher clone though… it doesn’t feel like it’s trying to make a youthful or generational statement.
The book is a series of letters written by the titular wallflower, Charlie. The person he is writing to is anonymous. It is his telling of his freshman year of high school and all the people he meets and new things he tries. Charlie is a little odd though. He’s had psychological problems since he was young. But he’s very smart and that comes across in some of his observations.
One of my favorite things from the book was a poem that Charlie gave to his friend Patrick for Christmas. He didn’t know its title or who wrote it but Google does ("Absolutely Nothing" by Osoanon Nimuss).
Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it 'Chops'
because that was the name of his dog
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the year Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
And he let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner sent him a
Valentine signed with a row of X's
and he had to ask his father what the X's meant
And his father always tucked him in bed at night
And was always there to do it.
Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it 'Autumn'
because that was the name of the season
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
And the kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
And left butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed a lot
And his father never tucked him in bed at night
And his father got mad
when he cried for him to do it.
Once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
And he called it 'Innocence: A Question'
because that was the question about his girl
And that's what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
That was the year Father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
of the Apostle's Creed went
And he caught his sister
making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
And the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
That made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
And at 3am he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly.
That's why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it 'Absolutely Nothing'
Because that's what it was really all about
And he gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didn't think
he could reach the kitchen.
I’ve wanted to read this book for many years. I’d heard great things and that there were some similarities to The Catcher in the Rye. It’s definitely not a Catcher clone though… it doesn’t feel like it’s trying to make a youthful or generational statement.
The book is a series of letters written by the titular wallflower, Charlie. The person he is writing to is anonymous. It is his telling of his freshman year of high school and all the people he meets and new things he tries. Charlie is a little odd though. He’s had psychological problems since he was young. But he’s very smart and that comes across in some of his observations.
One of my favorite things from the book was a poem that Charlie gave to his friend Patrick for Christmas. He didn’t know its title or who wrote it but Google does ("Absolutely Nothing" by Osoanon Nimuss).
Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it 'Chops'
because that was the name of his dog
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the year Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
And he let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner sent him a
Valentine signed with a row of X's
and he had to ask his father what the X's meant
And his father always tucked him in bed at night
And was always there to do it.
Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it 'Autumn'
because that was the name of the season
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
And the kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
And left butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed a lot
And his father never tucked him in bed at night
And his father got mad
when he cried for him to do it.
Once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
And he called it 'Innocence: A Question'
because that was the question about his girl
And that's what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
That was the year Father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
of the Apostle's Creed went
And he caught his sister
making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
And the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
That made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
And at 3am he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly.
That's why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it 'Absolutely Nothing'
Because that's what it was really all about
And he gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didn't think
he could reach the kitchen.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Location, Location, Location (College Edition)
The BCS Championship Game was last night with Alabama defeating LSU. I wasn’t watching. I’m not a college sports fan.*
I think some of it has to do with where I grew up. Yes, it’s the City of Champions but that didn’t start until February 2002 with the Patriots. I was in my junior year of high school by then so it doesn’t explain my entire childhood. The issue is that while New England does have an extremely high number of colleges, no one would consider it “collegiate”. Our biggest school is Boston College; not quite up there with Michigan or Ohio State. BC has a football/basketball presence and UConn is a big time basketball school but they’re practically New York. Holy Cross is fun to root for when they make it into the NCAA Tournament but the only proven consistent college sport in the Northeast is hockey. BC, BU, UNH, UMaine, Vermont. All top teams and all based locally. That’s what makes the Beanpot the only legit college sporting event in the area.
In lieu of the all-encompassing college programs we have the Red Sox (MLB), Patriots (NFL), Celtics (NBA), Bruins (NHL), Revolution (MLS), Cannons (MLL), Breakers (WPS) and more. So unlike someone growing up in Lincoln, Nebraska, I have much more to root for than just the Cornhuskers.
But I think timing plays a part too. I worked with a guy who was a huge fan of University of Miami football. Not the school, or their other sports, just the football team. But when he was growing up they were one of the top programs in the nation. They had a huge number of their student-athletes turning pro and becoming superstars. So I can see where that may have played a part in him becoming interested in them. But he wasn’t an NFL guy. He would root for those former Hurricanes but didn’t have his own team. And that’s the other truth… people are either a fan of college or pro and there is no overlap.
*March Madness withstanding. I don’t watch the college basketball season but the NCAA Tournament is a national pastime.
I think some of it has to do with where I grew up. Yes, it’s the City of Champions but that didn’t start until February 2002 with the Patriots. I was in my junior year of high school by then so it doesn’t explain my entire childhood. The issue is that while New England does have an extremely high number of colleges, no one would consider it “collegiate”. Our biggest school is Boston College; not quite up there with Michigan or Ohio State. BC has a football/basketball presence and UConn is a big time basketball school but they’re practically New York. Holy Cross is fun to root for when they make it into the NCAA Tournament but the only proven consistent college sport in the Northeast is hockey. BC, BU, UNH, UMaine, Vermont. All top teams and all based locally. That’s what makes the Beanpot the only legit college sporting event in the area.
In lieu of the all-encompassing college programs we have the Red Sox (MLB), Patriots (NFL), Celtics (NBA), Bruins (NHL), Revolution (MLS), Cannons (MLL), Breakers (WPS) and more. So unlike someone growing up in Lincoln, Nebraska, I have much more to root for than just the Cornhuskers.
But I think timing plays a part too. I worked with a guy who was a huge fan of University of Miami football. Not the school, or their other sports, just the football team. But when he was growing up they were one of the top programs in the nation. They had a huge number of their student-athletes turning pro and becoming superstars. So I can see where that may have played a part in him becoming interested in them. But he wasn’t an NFL guy. He would root for those former Hurricanes but didn’t have his own team. And that’s the other truth… people are either a fan of college or pro and there is no overlap.
*March Madness withstanding. I don’t watch the college basketball season but the NCAA Tournament is a national pastime.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Bill O’Brien, the newest Nittany Lion
Of all the jobs in the country which is probably the worst available opening right now? Head Coach of Penn State football. The #1 reason for that is the Jerry Sandusky scandal which has made Happy Valley, PA the last place you want to be associated with. The #2 reason is having to follow the illustrious legacy of Joe Paterno. Regardless of how JoePa’s tenure ended people love him. He is one of the great college coaches and I don’t believe the Sandusky scandal will tarnish him in historical context.
Today we found out that Bill O’Brien, Offensive Coordinator (OC) of the Patriots will become the new head coach at Penn State after this season. Wow. I’d just like to know why? It will certainly be a challenging situation he’s stepping into – and maybe that carried some weight with him – but there were other “challenges” available to him. The Jaguars, Dolphins, Rams, Chiefs, Buccaneers and more NFL teams are looking for head coaches. None of those are great situations like where he is now with the Pats, so they should have been of interest to him too. But no, O’Brien has decided to go the Charlie Weis route and leave the Pats’ OC job for a head coaching gig in college.
Weis, if you don’t remember, went to coach Notre Dame and created a lot of fanfare upon his arrival. However, he fizzled and has since returned to the pros as an OC again. But what buzz is O’Brien bringing with him? He’s not the character Weis was. Yes, he’s going to a famous program but this scandal will significantly impair his ability to recruit top high school players. Plus, everything he does will be compared to JoePa. I guess you could say this is a can’t lose situation for him because of all the negativity surrounding it. But what about his former team?
Tom Brady had a great rapport with O’Brien. Yes, they had one sideline spat but that was just 2 competitors going at it. Now Brady has to worry about getting on the same page with some new guy next year. And Bill Belichick first has to find this new hire. Someone who can both assert his will and take a step back when his future Hall of Fame QB has a different idea. Plus, this person needs to be able to continue the emergence of the best young Tight End tandem in the league. All of that is going to be tough to find in one person.
All I’m asking for now is that O’Brien keep his head firmly entrenched in the Pats game plans for the playoffs and put off any Penn State duties until after the Super Bowl. Nothing’s better than a championship send-off.
Today we found out that Bill O’Brien, Offensive Coordinator (OC) of the Patriots will become the new head coach at Penn State after this season. Wow. I’d just like to know why? It will certainly be a challenging situation he’s stepping into – and maybe that carried some weight with him – but there were other “challenges” available to him. The Jaguars, Dolphins, Rams, Chiefs, Buccaneers and more NFL teams are looking for head coaches. None of those are great situations like where he is now with the Pats, so they should have been of interest to him too. But no, O’Brien has decided to go the Charlie Weis route and leave the Pats’ OC job for a head coaching gig in college.
Weis, if you don’t remember, went to coach Notre Dame and created a lot of fanfare upon his arrival. However, he fizzled and has since returned to the pros as an OC again. But what buzz is O’Brien bringing with him? He’s not the character Weis was. Yes, he’s going to a famous program but this scandal will significantly impair his ability to recruit top high school players. Plus, everything he does will be compared to JoePa. I guess you could say this is a can’t lose situation for him because of all the negativity surrounding it. But what about his former team?
Tom Brady had a great rapport with O’Brien. Yes, they had one sideline spat but that was just 2 competitors going at it. Now Brady has to worry about getting on the same page with some new guy next year. And Bill Belichick first has to find this new hire. Someone who can both assert his will and take a step back when his future Hall of Fame QB has a different idea. Plus, this person needs to be able to continue the emergence of the best young Tight End tandem in the league. All of that is going to be tough to find in one person.
All I’m asking for now is that O’Brien keep his head firmly entrenched in the Pats game plans for the playoffs and put off any Penn State duties until after the Super Bowl. Nothing’s better than a championship send-off.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Why New Year’s Resolutions Make My Life Miserable
GUEST BLOGGER: @brigibaby
I hate January. It’s dark when I go to work in the morning, and dark when I leave at night. Bitter cold temperatures and the constant anxiety of an approaching blizzard don’t improve my mood much. And with the holidays over and nothing to look forward to until St. Patrick’s Day (or Valentine’s day, right boo?), January seriously has nothing going for it. But the real reason I dread this month every year aren’t the short days and snowstorms; it’s the gym. Come January, hordes of people rush to the gym, as if signing up for a membership instantly makes them drop two pant sizes. For the routine gym-goer, January is a nightmare.
Whether you belong to the neighborhood Y, or your city’s bougiest gym, this epidemic will affect you this month. New Year’s resolutions are a gym-goer’s worst nightmare. Everyone makes the same lame list like, “I’m going to drop 10 pounds this year,” and “2012 is going to be my year;” however it’s worded, it has the naïve resolver ending up in the same place; their nearest fitness center.
Earlier this week, my first day back after a nice holiday break, I laced up my sneaks and headed to the gym for a lunchtime spin class. It’s usually pretty crowded, but this time was beyond chaotic. I grabbed one of the two remaining bikes and was pretty pleased with myself…until some chick who didn’t get there in time had to ruin it all. She was all salty about not getting a bike even though her name was on the sign-up sheet. I was thinking “sorry, sister, you snooze, you lose,” and how no one really signs up for these classes anyway… until I saw the owner of the gym come in, holding said sign-up sheet. He asked if anyone was on a bike that hadn’t signed up, and I raised my hand, expecting several other hands to go up. Except mine was the only one, and I was promptly given the boot (okay, the owner and the instructor were very nice about it, and said that I had the first spot reserved for next week’s class, but it was still embarrassing). I get that at some gyms, signing up is mandatory and classes are always at capacity. But I’ve been a member of this gym since March and I’ve never needed to sign up for anything.
Yesterday’s Zumba class was like being on Bourbon Street during Mardi Gras; I barely had room to do my salsas and sambas without bumping into someone. Not to mention the late-comers who of course had to squeeze in front of me and block my view of the instructor and the mirror.
I learned my lesson and got to the gym more than 10 minutes early for today’s class. I signed up and staked out a spot in the corner, where no one would be able to infringe on my space. Or so I thought. We’re halfway through the warm-up when this chick waltzes in and sets up shop right next to me. Her legs went on for days…and practically into my head for the cross-kicks. I had to leave the class ten minutes early to ensure I wouldn’t have to wait in line for a shower. And the locker room? I’ve seen more clothes at the Jersey Shore. Yes, it’s a ladies locker room, but please don’t parade around with your unshaved bottom half and ample top half in my face; at least put on your underwear to blow-dry your hair.
Hey, I get it. I want to fit into my skinny jeans and have abs like Gisele, too (a girl can dream, right?). But New Year’s resolutions don’t work; at least not the “lose-20-pounds-by-spring-break” kind. So stop crowding my gym and adopt a healthier attitude – remember, it’s a lifestyle, not one group exercise class, that will make you look and feel your best. Now that the rant is out, I guess I’ll just bide my time until February, when the resolutions are long forgotten and the regulars can enjoy the gym in peace. That, or punch the next person I see smiling for their membership card picture in the face.
I hate January. It’s dark when I go to work in the morning, and dark when I leave at night. Bitter cold temperatures and the constant anxiety of an approaching blizzard don’t improve my mood much. And with the holidays over and nothing to look forward to until St. Patrick’s Day (or Valentine’s day, right boo?), January seriously has nothing going for it. But the real reason I dread this month every year aren’t the short days and snowstorms; it’s the gym. Come January, hordes of people rush to the gym, as if signing up for a membership instantly makes them drop two pant sizes. For the routine gym-goer, January is a nightmare.
Whether you belong to the neighborhood Y, or your city’s bougiest gym, this epidemic will affect you this month. New Year’s resolutions are a gym-goer’s worst nightmare. Everyone makes the same lame list like, “I’m going to drop 10 pounds this year,” and “2012 is going to be my year;” however it’s worded, it has the naïve resolver ending up in the same place; their nearest fitness center.
Earlier this week, my first day back after a nice holiday break, I laced up my sneaks and headed to the gym for a lunchtime spin class. It’s usually pretty crowded, but this time was beyond chaotic. I grabbed one of the two remaining bikes and was pretty pleased with myself…until some chick who didn’t get there in time had to ruin it all. She was all salty about not getting a bike even though her name was on the sign-up sheet. I was thinking “sorry, sister, you snooze, you lose,” and how no one really signs up for these classes anyway… until I saw the owner of the gym come in, holding said sign-up sheet. He asked if anyone was on a bike that hadn’t signed up, and I raised my hand, expecting several other hands to go up. Except mine was the only one, and I was promptly given the boot (okay, the owner and the instructor were very nice about it, and said that I had the first spot reserved for next week’s class, but it was still embarrassing). I get that at some gyms, signing up is mandatory and classes are always at capacity. But I’ve been a member of this gym since March and I’ve never needed to sign up for anything.
Yesterday’s Zumba class was like being on Bourbon Street during Mardi Gras; I barely had room to do my salsas and sambas without bumping into someone. Not to mention the late-comers who of course had to squeeze in front of me and block my view of the instructor and the mirror.
I learned my lesson and got to the gym more than 10 minutes early for today’s class. I signed up and staked out a spot in the corner, where no one would be able to infringe on my space. Or so I thought. We’re halfway through the warm-up when this chick waltzes in and sets up shop right next to me. Her legs went on for days…and practically into my head for the cross-kicks. I had to leave the class ten minutes early to ensure I wouldn’t have to wait in line for a shower. And the locker room? I’ve seen more clothes at the Jersey Shore. Yes, it’s a ladies locker room, but please don’t parade around with your unshaved bottom half and ample top half in my face; at least put on your underwear to blow-dry your hair.
Hey, I get it. I want to fit into my skinny jeans and have abs like Gisele, too (a girl can dream, right?). But New Year’s resolutions don’t work; at least not the “lose-20-pounds-by-spring-break” kind. So stop crowding my gym and adopt a healthier attitude – remember, it’s a lifestyle, not one group exercise class, that will make you look and feel your best. Now that the rant is out, I guess I’ll just bide my time until February, when the resolutions are long forgotten and the regulars can enjoy the gym in peace. That, or punch the next person I see smiling for their membership card picture in the face.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Good Eats: Heid’s
Heid’s hot dogs are the pride of Syracuse, NY. But they don’t serve just franks… they also have something called a coney. From Wikipedia: “The white hot (or coney) is a variation on the hot dog found in Rochester, New York, and the upstate area. It is composed of some combination of uncured and unsmoked pork, beef, and veal; the lack of smoking or curing allows the meat to retain a naturally white color. White hots usually contain mustard and other spices, and often include a dairy component such as nonfat dry milk.”
The building is pretty small considering the business it does but in the summer they have a large outdoor seating section. The biggest drawback to the Heid’s experience is the layout for ordering. It reminds me of old McDonald’s drive thrus that were built too close to the road and the line of cars would inevitably spill out into the street. The line for ordering at Heid’s starts right at the door and completely blocks the entrance to the seating section. So what ends up happening is after you order and get your food, you turn around to head into the dining room and you’re fighting to get by people and trying not to spill your tray. Throw a tightrope in there and you’ve got a circus act.
It’s worth it though. I’ve gone to Heid’s literally every time I’ve been in Syracuse (twice).
The building is pretty small considering the business it does but in the summer they have a large outdoor seating section. The biggest drawback to the Heid’s experience is the layout for ordering. It reminds me of old McDonald’s drive thrus that were built too close to the road and the line of cars would inevitably spill out into the street. The line for ordering at Heid’s starts right at the door and completely blocks the entrance to the seating section. So what ends up happening is after you order and get your food, you turn around to head into the dining room and you’re fighting to get by people and trying not to spill your tray. Throw a tightrope in there and you’ve got a circus act.
It’s worth it though. I’ve gone to Heid’s literally every time I’ve been in Syracuse (twice).
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
The New Year
So this is the new year
I don't feel any different
The clanking of crystal
Explosions off in the distance
So this is the new year
And I have no resolutions
For self assigned penance
For problems with easy solutions
So everybody put your best suit or dress on
Let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once
Lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn
As thirty dialogues bleed into one
I wish the world was flat like the old days
Then I could travel just by folding a map
No more airplanes, or speedtrains, or freeways
There'd be no distance that can hold us back
Book Review: Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
by: Mindy Kaling
I would not recommend this book to anyone I know. Maybe if I had a female cousin in junior high or something. It's not even that this is too girly -- it's just not funny.
Kaling describes this book in the introduction as being written in a way that reflects how she thinks. "Sometimes it's an essay or story, and sometimes it's a pliest, which is a piece with a list-y quality, a term I've just made up." But in reality, her chapter entitled "Alternate Titles for This Book" really nailed it with The Book That Was Never a Blog.
This book is really just a bunch of little blog posts pasted together and sold under the guise of being by one of the young, up and coming writers of a hit TV show. Which would be fine, to a certain extent, as long as she dished out cool details about The Office since that's pretty much all she is known for. Yet that long-running NBC tentpole only garners 20 pages of her already slim (220 pages) book.
I read this book in two sittings, comfortably. Although, I hesitate to say comfortably because there was close to no enjoyment until the second to last chapter. It was titled "A Eulogy for Mindy Kaling" and it was some of the funniest writing in the book. Not by Kaling, of course, but by Michael Schur, a former writer for The Office and co-creator of Parks and Recreation. If he put out a book I would grab it in a heartbeat.
I would not recommend this book to anyone I know. Maybe if I had a female cousin in junior high or something. It's not even that this is too girly -- it's just not funny.
Kaling describes this book in the introduction as being written in a way that reflects how she thinks. "Sometimes it's an essay or story, and sometimes it's a pliest, which is a piece with a list-y quality, a term I've just made up." But in reality, her chapter entitled "Alternate Titles for This Book" really nailed it with The Book That Was Never a Blog.
This book is really just a bunch of little blog posts pasted together and sold under the guise of being by one of the young, up and coming writers of a hit TV show. Which would be fine, to a certain extent, as long as she dished out cool details about The Office since that's pretty much all she is known for. Yet that long-running NBC tentpole only garners 20 pages of her already slim (220 pages) book.
I read this book in two sittings, comfortably. Although, I hesitate to say comfortably because there was close to no enjoyment until the second to last chapter. It was titled "A Eulogy for Mindy Kaling" and it was some of the funniest writing in the book. Not by Kaling, of course, but by Michael Schur, a former writer for The Office and co-creator of Parks and Recreation. If he put out a book I would grab it in a heartbeat.
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